For just a small amount of money, YOU TOO can become a forensic detective right in your own home! That's right, friends and booger eaters, you can now obsess to the point of buying a home forensic kit to find out if she's letting someone else dip their ladle in her gravy maker!
Pshaaaw, never mind that it's pretty simple to tell by NORMAL means when your mate is being unfaithful. We all know that it is now THE FUTURE and the standard ways of testing loyalty no longer work so you MUST HAVE THIS KIT!
It will solve all of the problems in your relationship once you have this kit to scour his/her bedsheets and clothing with! Never you mind that people will think you have absolutely gone STRAIGHT out of your mind, forensic testing of your lovely is the ANSWER and we have it.
That's right. If you just send $19.95 to our head company, "People Are Morons Who Will Spend Money On Anything" YOU TOO can have the answers you seek!
ACT NOW! DON'T DELAY! SEND US ALL OF YOUR MONEY BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU ARE SECRETLY AN INSECURE IDIOT WHO WILL BUY THIS!